21st Century Philosopher: A-Paw-Calypse Meow

Title: A-Paw-Calyse Meow
System: Year Zero Engine

5 PCs: Byrd, KFC, Snoop Catt, Tinkerbell, Wild Thang.

Runtime: 4 hrs

Description: You play Jackie Chan's Squirrel, Samuel Jackson's Parrot, Snoop Dogg's Cat, Paris Hilton's Chihuahua, and Gary Busey's Dog. Your human is at some charity event and they abandon you at the hospitality suite. As the world spirals into collapse, you must work together to survive and travel to your wormiest heart of darkness.

Tone: Darkly Humorous (Dale & Tucker vs Evil, Evil Dead 2, Shaun of the Dead, Animal Farm)

Content Tags: Horror Tropes, Apocalyptic, Cannibalism, Harm to Animals, Drug Use (light), Political Satire (definite), Fowl Language (possibly)

The idea came to me for this when I learned about Gunther IV, a German Shepard, the richest animal in the world with $500 million. I also found there were other animals (Olivia Benson, Nala Cat) worth millions of dollars. At first I was going to build a game based on that, but then I realized it's not a big enough hook for roleplaying. (Sadly, it has been revealed that Gunther IV was a hoax created to cheat on taxes.)

So, what if I made a game about Pets of the Rich and Famous instead? Aha!

I scoured the internet for pictures of movie stars and their pets. I also wanted various animals and movies stars. So, I wound up with only two pictures of famous people with their pets: Paris Hilton and Snoop Dogg. I wound up photo-editing the other pictures. I had Wild Thang the ugliest dog in the world and since its been said that married couples start to look like each other (especially in choice of clothing and facial expression), I figured people and their pets would be the same, so Wild Thang reminded me of Gary Busey. I had a picture of a squirrel in a Kung Fu pose, so I immediately thought of Jackie Chan. I wanted a fowl-mouthed parrot (yes, a pun) and I immediately thought of Samuel Jackson. The only real animal name was Tinkerbell, Paris Hilton's dog. Since Snoop Dogg likes to say D O double-G, I decided his cat was C A double-T.

So this was my line up: Byrd & Samuel Jackson, KFC (Kung Fu Chopstix) and Jackie Chan, Snoop Catt & Snoop Dogg, Tinkerbell & Paris Hilton, Wild Thang & Gary Busey.

By making the PCs the animals, the Players can do whatever they want with the PC, but the owner is just for inspiration. They didn't have to act like their human and it was up to interpretation.

Next up was what did I want to do with these PCs. Since all of the PCs are spoiled animals, conflict must come from adversity. What if the pampered animals are faced with survival? What if their world comes crashing down and they must figure out how to survive? What if it's not just their world, but the WHOLE world is crashing down. An apocalypse.

What challenges do they have to face? I listed them. What skills do they have? What system should I use? Recently, I had been running Alien RPG and Vaesen. Both use the Year Zero Engine (YZE). I decided it would work, system light, easy to learn, hard to kill or injure the PC.

I pared down the skill list and renamed some skills to be more animal-like: Fetch Stuff (gross motor skills), I Know This (figure out human tech), Find Food and Shelter (survival), Lick Wounds (healing).

I didn't want Byrd to just fly away and leave the party, so I clipped Byrd's wings. I thought it would be funny if Tinkerbell had access to a lot of things, but she wouldn't be able to reach the RFID readers without help. Snoop Catt has through 1st and 2nd hand contact taken a lot of drugs and have seen a lot of real and imaginary things. He's chill. Wild Thang doesn't look like a dog and is fuggly. KFC needed an archnemesis, like all good Kung Fu movies.

I then built out their skills and character sheets: pre-gens here

I wanted the Players to get into the mindset of their PCs, so I added individual questions on their character sheets. After Players picked their PCs, I had them write down answers to their individual questions and then I asked each Player what their answers were at the table, so everyone can hear their answers. This also sets the tone of the game.

Next where do the PCs start, I decided what made sense was a Charity Event where the Rich and Famous attend, but they have to drop off their pets at an animal hospitality suite. This also takes the animal owners out of the picture.

Again, I wanted the Players to get into the head of their PCs, so I had another set of general questions that every PC had to answer about their attitude towards their situation and their owner. This was a great hit amongst the Players as they made up pretty funny stories and lines about their life with the Rich and Famous.

I then needed to get the human help out of the hospitality suite and leave the animals alone, at some point they'll figure out they'll have to work together to escape the hospitality room. Once out, they'll have to face the great outdoors without human help.

I then started listing various obstacles and encounters to test the PCs. I also wanted humans to get out of the way and make this more about the animals. I wanted an apocalypse. What came to mind was "They're eating the dogs, eating the cats, eating pets." What would make people do this? Bingo! Zombie Apocalypse.

I decided to lean into the MAGA-verse.

I put a few NPCs in the hospitality room: Porky Pig (Mike Lindell's) and Butkus (Sylester Stallone's).

Porky and Human

Mike Lindell

Stallone and Butkus

I wanted the NPCs to refuse to leave the hospitality suite because the game is about the PCs. Porky will tell the PCs that the only safe place is in the hospitality suite until his human comes to pick him up as he was told that "They're eating the dogs, eating the cats, eating the pets." Butkus (Butt-Kiss) refuses to leave because he's totally obedient to Stallone. He was told to sit and he obeys until told otherwise. I have Butkus stubbornly refuse to move from the spot Stallone told him to sit at.

I listed various encounters: Sewer Alligator, Cocaine Bear, ALF (eats cats), RFK Jr (eats roadkill), crazy cat lady (Taylor Swift), and of course, Trump at the White House Ballroom, and mind control alien toupees.

I tied it all together with Tail Swift handing out quests to the PCs. She's making the PCs do all the dirty work with minimal effort. She holds the magic wand of can opening inside her court of CostCo warehouse.

In the end, the PCs can rescue their owners from cryostasis in the underground bunker beneath the White House Ballroom.

Here's my scenario game notes: Scenario Outline

After I built the game, I titled it A-Paw-Calypse Meow. The original working title was Pets of the Rich and Famous. When I told Sean N about the game, he told me I already won because the title has two puns in it. 😊

Pictures: