A Stranger in a Strange Land Down Under - Australia 2018

Even though English is the primary language of Australia, there were interesting differences between the USA and Australia. I flew from San Francisco to Sydney, to Cairns, to Uluru, to Melbourne, back to San Francisco.

I booked this through Quantas. They ran some ads during the Olympics and this was on my bucket list of places to visit. Airline tickets, hotels plus single supplements (I went alone), and a couple of local tours (Sydney Harbor boat tour, Blue Mountain tour, Barrier Reef swim, Uluru sunrise/sunset, Melbourne city tour, and Penguin March from the Sea in Melbourne) totaled up to over $7000. I was there 8/31-9/13/2018. Even though I flew out of San Francisco on 8/29, due to flight time and time zone differences, I arrived on 8/31.

Australia is big.

If I was in the US, I was roughly flying from Florida (Sydney) to Michigan (Cairns) to Denver (Uluru) to New Orleans (Melbourne).

Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park (?)

Can you Spot the Sydney Opera House?

Melbourne Airport

Curiously there were dual language signs, English / Chinese, in the airport and large wall sized advertisements in Chinese selling real estate. I should have taken some pictures, but I only thought of this while on the shuttle ride through Sydney as I saw billboards also in Chinese. I also saw Chinese school children wearing school uniforms going to school. I did vow to take a picture of a dual language sign at the Melbourne Airport before I left for the US.

The hotel room was small, only large enough for the double bed and a bathroom where you had to close the bathroom door in order to open the shower door, otherwise they'd bump into each other.

I turned on the TV. 60 Minutes TV show in Australia has it's own TV hosts. They had their own TV segments and a few segments were obviously from the US TV show with the introductory commentary of US hosts replaced with the Australian ones. My reaction was "What?" Where's Scott Pelley and Leslie Stahl and who are these other people? Why were they replaced by Pod People? Was American English too hard on Australian ears? But Australian broadcast English sounded very American.

The big thing on TV was football, AFL. Not the American Football League, but the Australian Football League. Talk about cognitive dissonance.

Next up was checking to see if the Coriolis Effect could be seen by flushing the toilet. The flush pattern is mainly determined by the plumbing of the toilet, all toilets swirl clockwise. Next test was just water in the sink. The water went both clockwise and anti-clockwise when I pulled the drain plug out. So much for being an amateur scientist. According to a National Geographic article, you need a weather satellite to see its effects.

My hotel was in walking distance of the Sydney Opera House, Sydney Harbour Bridge, Royal Botanic Garden, Hyde Park, and Darling Harbour (Chinatown).

Sydney is one of the oldest European settlements, so it has a lot of historical buildings.

Sydney Harbor Bridge - Sydney Opera House - Royal Botanic Garden Sydney

Riverboat

Old Sailing Ship

New Architecture

Old Architecture

British Mail Box

Walking under the Sydney Harbour Bridge

Sydney Opera House

Il Porcellino - rub his nose for luck

Sydney Opera House

Macquarie Place Park

Sydney Cove Marker

Archibald Fountain in Hyde Park

Stack of d8s

Miniature of Sydney in the Customs House Library

St. Mary of the Cross & Archibald Fountain

The Royal Botanic Garden is right next to the Sydney Opera House. Definitely worth a look. Lots of pre-historic plants native to Australia. It's a beautiful park.

I thought this was "Bart Simpsons" reference.

Bite Me referred to the Carnivorus Plants Exhibit

WTF? There are eels in the pond that eats ducklings? And they squirm across the grass at night?

Here are some pictures from a boat tour in the Sydney Harbour.

Time to talk about Fast Food. In Australia, Burger King is named Hungry Jack's. When Burger King went to Australia, someone else already trademarked their company name, so they named it Hungry Jack's. Jack is the name of their Burger King, not to be confused with Jack in the Box. According to a Swedish friend, Sweden's Burger King was called Big Burger for 20 years. So, yet another odd disconnect in the land down under.

In the USA, it's the Dollar Menu; in Melbourne, it's Penny Pinchers. You cheap bastard!

I found the serving sizes were really small compared to the US serving sizes. A small soda is 250 ml = 8.4 oz = 3/4 can of Coke. This size doesn't exist in the US except with a child's meal. Look at the US small size, it's more than double in volume. And a small fries was tiny. No wonder people in the USA are fat. I've eaten a few Super Size fries in my younger days. Glad to have met and ate you.

Australia vs US

US Fry sizes

The Extinct Super Size

Took a charter bus trip to look at an animal farm with Koalas, Wallabies, and Kangaroos, then to the Blue Mountains, named for the Eucalyptus Forests which exhale blue vapor, and a Jurassic Garden. My cousin who went later took a public bus that let passengers hike to the Three Sisters. She also only did a Los Angeles-Sydney-Melbourne-Los Angeles trip and her cost was less than $2k. My tour was basically a bus tour with no hiking. A number of my tours could be bought locally for about the same price that I pre-paid for. I think I did get an upgrade to the deluxe Harbour Boat tour which included a small box of pastries and tea. You can basically book any of the tours at the Circular Quay Station. Did I mention most of the tourists were Asian? Loads of them at the Opera House and the Royal Botanic Garden.

Koala

Wallaby

Blue Mountains - Eucalyptus Forest

Blue Mountains

Eagle Hawk Lookout - 3 Sisters rock formation

Wentworth Falls

Blue Mountains Botanic Garden - Jurassic Garden

Back to Sydney

Anzac Day is really important because April 25 (1915) is the anniversary of the landings at Gallipoli where Australian and New Zealand troops were basically sacrificed without regard to their value. Lots of anger and pride about that event. This brought about the idea that Australia and New Zealand should have its own national identity even though Australia gained their independence from Britain in 1901.

Anzac Memorial

Giant Bullets

Giant Spent Shells

Chinatown

Darling Harbour

Massive below street level Asian Food Court

Then a flight to Cairns (pronounced Cans) to do some snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef. On the flight out of Sydney, I got stopped at the Sydney airport because I forgot I had put a folding knife in my backpack which SFO security didn't find. The short, but cocky security guy flipped open my 2" knife and stated, "This is a weapon." I so wanted to say, "I didn't think you Aussies called that a knife." in a callback to Crocodile Dundee, but I didn't think he had a sense of humor and I didn't want to miss my flight nor get deported. They threw my knife away and let me continue on my way. Hotel room was massive with two queen sized beds. Also I asked around and found that TripAdvisor was the GoTo restaurant review website. In the US, it's Yelp.

Unusual water hazards: Jellyfish and Saltwater Crocodiles at the beach

Palm Cove

Some sort of dinner party

Fish Identification Station on fishing pier

Coconut Man who was picking up coconuts from the beach and putting them in his van (in the distance).

Didn't see any in the wild

This wallaby was at a wildlife preserve

The Lycra suit was mainly for jellyfish protection (Stingers). A poorman's suit is a wetsuit and pantyhose for face, hands, and feet. They told us not to feed the fish, but outside of where we anchored, it was mostly dead. It was obvious that the tour does feed the fish. Fish and turtles swarmed our area in anticipation of food.

Snorkeling at Great Barrier Reef

Picture taken from inside minisub

Anchor for our floating island

Aussie Burgers were the best! Especially if the egg broke open and poured out its creamy goodness.

I was told the proper way to eat Vegemite was loads of butter on toast and a light scraping of Vegemite. The Vegemite was salty and slightly sour. After adding more to the toast to get more color for the photo, it became way too much, but I ate it anyway. 

Barramundi Fish and Chips

Calamari Rings and Chips

Ketchup is not the standard condiment in Australia. It's mostly mayo or tartar sauce. You have to specially ask for tomato sauce (what's ketchup?). When I asked for it with my Aussie Burger the next night, the egg came overcooked. Revenge on the Yank? What's a Pot of Great Northern? A glass of beer.

Daintree Rainforest via Billy Tea Safaris mainly to see the rainforest and some animals in captivity.

Local fruit

Can you spot the Cassowary?

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We got on a small boat to traverse a river, so we can spot some Saltwater Crocodiles. One little girl got totally freaked out when she was told we were looking for Crocodiles. Crocs must be some sort of boogeyman story told to small children. At the end of the boat trip, we waited on the other bank as our big wheeled tour bus took a ferry to meet us.

River boat

Ferry Crossing Fees

Can you spot the Croc?

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Zoomed in, he's still there!

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Can you spot the Croc?

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Kuranda Scenic Railway started at the Freshwater Pavilion train station and ended with a Skyrail Tour.

Can you spot the spider?

Can you spot the spider?

It's as big as my hand!

Skyrail, above Rainforest

Rainforest from directly above

Roo meat pies

Tank Museum a short walk from base of Skyrail

Then a flight to Uluru (indigenous name) / Ayres Rock (named after Sir Henry Ayres). The park was purchased by the government and sold to the indigenous peoples for $1 under the conditions that it be leased back to the government for 99 years and allow three generations of indigenous people to learn how to manage 300,000 visitors yearly. When I was there, park service staff was 38% indigenous and their goal was 50%. The housing near the park was closed and a resort 20 km from the park was built to reduce damage to the site. A cultural center was built. There's a cultural taboo about photographs of living and dead indigenous people. The only photos of indigenous people displayed were with explicit permission. When I was there it was strongly suggested that people don't climb Uluru and climbing it will be banned for tourists starting in 2019. One of the stories told to us was that hikers peeing and pooping on Uluru (no restroom facilities) led to contamination of watering holes at the base. Hotel room was nice or you can rough it by camping at the tent camp site and risk getting abducted by dingoes.

Uluru from airplane

Sunset

$25 to enter the park and extra for a special tour to see the sunset

Other people who also paid to take a picture

Special sunrise tour

A Dingo ate my baby!

A few minutes walk from my hotel. Sunset/Sunrise pics for free.

A bit commercial

Basically, just don't climb Uluru

Walking tour

Leaving Uluru

Finally, Melbourne (pronounced Melbin or is it MelBurn or MelBorn?) The answer I got is Melbin if you want to pronounce it like a local. Melbourne has The City Circle, a free tram ride that loops around the City Centre and passes by tourist attractions. I paid for a city bus tour which was unnecessary. Take this tram instead.

Panda Art installation at the Melbourne airport. These were only a few I had taken pictures of.

Deliberately made to be mis-read

Back to a small hotel room in a sketchy part of the city. There were strip clubs around the corner from where I stayed, but several ethnic restaurants nearby. I tried the Indian and Chinese restaurants.

Next up was the Great Ocean Road bus tour to see the Twelve Apostles (now eight due to erosion) and London Bridge (which has now fallen down and is now the London Arch).

Obligatory Chocolate Factory stop during Great Ocean Road tour.

Can you spot the Koala?

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London Bridge has fallen down

Bus tour of colorful Brighton Beach on the way to see The March of the Penguins where the penguins come back to nest for the night after a day of feeding offshore. No photos since they come back at night and no photography unless you pay for a special viewing area where you can use your camera without disturbing them. Also a visit to the Moonlight Sanctuary Wildlife Conservation Park.

Inside one of the beach houses

Stuffed Penguins of the World

Penguin Housing

Can you spot the baby Joey?

Tawny Frogmouth

Happy Dingo

I found Chinatown.

Sun Yat-sen

Shrine of Remembrance. Fighting in WWI ended at the 11th hour of 11/11/1918. Each year on this day, Remembrance Day, a natural ray of light enters through the roof of the Sanctuary at 11am to shine on the Stone of Remembrance and illuminates the word LOVE. In real life, due to Daylight Savings, it happens at 12 noon instead (the plans of men and unintended consequences). There were school children there and it was quite moving. Every 1/2 hour, a recording goes on and a mirror reflects sunlight across the words to simulate 11/11 11am.

NGV Australia. The architecture is crazy. Very non-Euclidean. Stairwells, windows, ceilings are amazing to behold. At times better than the art inside.

Exterior

Interior

Window. A sign next to it said, "Reopening Soon." But to what or where?

At one of the stops off of the City Circle. I went for a bento box.

I loved both Sydney and Melbourne. I think Melbourne had a plethora of interesting modern buildings and more ethnic food. Royal Botanic Garden Sydney was one of the most beautiful parks I've ever seen and with the iconic Sydney Opera House just next door. Hard to pick between the two cities.

p.s. I was going to make a photo book with about 20 pages. I had to explain to one of our young gamers what a photo book was. She questioned why someone would really make one. I said it was a hardcopy backup of some of my Facebook posts when I visited Australia. She said that there are ways to make sure your digital posts can be retained. Well, heck. She's right. So I wrote this blog post. I was also going to write a series of insightful and funny commentary on things seemingly odd to a traveling American, my version of Mark Twain's The Innocents Abroad, and I was worried about giving away my first world publishing rights by having this on the web. But hey, it's been 3 years since my trip. So, here it is.